Toyin took us to her pastor at Felele, an outskirt of the
town. Good morning sir, this is Nneka and her husband, the one I spoke to you
about. We greeted the pastor at the same time. He was an elderly man in his 60s
but he was still full of life. He greeted us and asked us to narrate our
challenges. I took the stage because my husband is an extrovert and he hardly
give details. While I was talking the pastor kept shaking his head in pity
After all my stories, he said the next thing was confession
of our sins. I knew we were going to have problem with that because I doubt if
my husband would want the old man to hear what we did with Prophet Ade. I
raised my head and starred at my husband and he turned his face away, then I
got the signal. The old man was patiently waiting for us to confess our sins. I
was the one who broke the silence, sir we are all liars, we keep malice
sometimes, we skip our tithe most times and other sins we do daily
unconsciously. The man sighed loudly and began to speak in tongues.
I was not wayward but I knew I have committed an abortion
before and I have never told my husband about it. Not even Toyin knew anything
about the abortion. It was a secret I had kept for a long time. Could that be
the source of our childlessness baba wants us to confess? But how can God block
my womb for just one abortion yet I have seen many who lived dirty lives with
several abortions who have good marriage and wonderful children today. This
can’t be the reason, I waved the thoughts away. Baba insisted he won’t pray for
us if we don’t confess the main sin that had rendered us childless. I excused
my husband, is there anything you know that we need to confess? Nothing more
than what I have told you before, he replied.
We went back to baba, sir we have thought and flashed back
but can’t remember anything we did that we have not confessed. He didn’t argue with
us but refused to pray for us, not even a word of prayer. As we drove back home
my husband did not utter a word as he drove. I turned from the front seat and
looked at Toyin, I thought you said your pastor is powerful and he could help
us? Yes, she replied. He had helped many other people and the testimonies are
everywhere.
Deaconess Adeola waited for fifteen years before she met with
papa and today she has been blessed with two boys. Dr Ogun and his wife had no
child when they joined our church five years ago but today they have a son. I
believe your case won’t be different. The same God who did for Deaconess Adeola
and Dr Ogun will do it for you. She encouraged us.
When we got home that night we barely talked to each other
over the issue. I didn’t want Kassim to ask
me if I have something I haven’t confessed. I have told him everything
about my paste except for the abortion. I really don’t want him to know about
the abortion because his reaction may be devastating. Kassim is a very jealous
man who cannot withstand knowing his wife was ever impregnated by someone he
knew. I have confessed to God and he has forgiven me, I can’t open the old
wound again. God is merciful and he will not let my sins of many years to be
remembered.
Kassim’s silence and indifference over what Toyin’s pastor
told us worried me a lot but “he that comes to equity must come with clean
hands”. I can’t accuse him when I myself is guilty. For one week, none of us
said anything about it. Should I go back to baba behind my husband to confess
my abortion? What if he insisted I must do the confession before my husband? I
can’t stay another year without having my own baby. I need to carry my own
child soon. I will summon courage today and talk to Kassim over what baba said.
Maybe he has something he’s hiding, he too must confess it.
